Using the Tension of Creation in Spaceholding: Bridging What Is and What Could Be

I first heard about the "Tension of Creation" while studying Robert Fritz's research on the subject in his book Creating. In it, he describes the tension of creation as a fundamental principle of the creative process and explains that there will always be a discrepancy between what you want and what you have. Why? Because creators bring into being creations that do not yet exist.

How can the Tension of Creation be used in Spaceholding?

The creative tension between what is (current reality) and what is not (desired future) is a powerful tool in spaceholding. This research took place during the Spaceholder Skills Laboratory held by Ana Norambuena in Riverside, New Zealand, in April 2025. The text below is a compilation of our discoveries, as well as my observations and notes.

Group of researchers and spaceholders in the Spaceholding Skills Lab in Riverside in April 2025.

The Tension of Creation in Spaceholding

Consider in the map bellow what is as: Results, current reality, what you have now, where you are now, present moment. And consider what is not as: Potential, what you want it to be, what is missing, desired future.

Map created during the Spaceholder Skills Lab, April, 2025.

The potential of focusing on what is (current reality):

What becomes possible when you focus on what is? What kind of space can you create by placing your attention on what is?

• You can establish connections to reality and to what is already here. Often in a romantic relationship, for example, a woman is in love with a man's potential, with who he could become one day, but not with who he is now.

• Allowing: Everything that is is welcomed.

• Celebration is possible.

• Experience gratitude.

• Relaxation is possible because there is nowhere to go.

• Receptivity is possible because defensiveness goes down.

• You discover the X on the map and how things are now.

• You can go anywhere.

• Small now: the present moment.

• Experience of reality without trying to change it.

• Resources are skills, energy, and knowledge. This is the only place where I can find available resources. If I’m not skilled at seeing what is, then I’ll miss the potential. The car won't have fuel, and I'll feel pressured to get where I want to go. Resources are the fuel that mobilizes sustainable transformation.

Everything that is and that you notice is fuel for what could be and for potential transformation.

And everything that exists is the result of creation. No matter the survival strategy, how much of the box is crystallized, or how much gremlin is in the forefront. This human created all of that. Because this human has created, there is a resource behind it. We create all the time; the question is, how consciously am I creating? Is this what I want to create right now? Or is my gremlin creating this without my noticing? What possibilities arise when you focus on what is? What kind of space can you open when you focus on what is?

Every human being has the resources necessary to maintain the spaceholding that they are having at this moment. For example, a friend of mine has a horrible sense of time; she is always late for her appointments. However, she is never late for her yoga classes. Why is that? She cares about yoga and meeting her friends at yoga four days a week. She could develop this incredible resource so that she never misses a class, no matter if it’s raining, how tired she is, if she's sick, or if she doesn't have money. When I talk to her about this skill she already has, it opens the door for her to apply it to other areas of her life where she is not yet competent.

We have unlimited resources. When a person comes to you for training or a session, it is because they do not yet have access to these resources. However, as soon as they find a resource, they can start learning, shifting, and creating the new results they want, even though what is missing is still missing.

Using the What is as a Bridge for Transformation

Most of the time, the box defends the story, "I don't have the resources to create what I want." When you acknowledge and name the resource behind the defense, you create the first crack in the box. The person might experience, "I never saw this as a resource. You're telling me it's something I can use? It's great to have something like that. I always thought it was worthless."

For example, when a person is stuck and keeps saying, "I don't have clarity. I'm lost."

As a spaceholder, you can look through the lens and say, "It seems you have clarity about being lost and not having clarity. What is your experience with having clarity?"

Or, when someone says, "I'm resistant."

"It's great that you're feeling resistance; your muscles grow when there's resistance. Which muscle are you growing now?"

You name a resource so that you can refer to it. It becomes an anchor when you enter the realm of "what is not." You can then take the resource and bring it into potential. Use the resource to create the next step. In my experience, something like that happens: "I used to have an excuse not to create what I wanted, but now that excuse is fueling my car. I can't stop because the car is already moving."

If you don't acknowledge what's already there, the next step in the transformation process may be too big of a leap. Acknowledging what is creates a doorway to making contact and setting the context for something else while being in a relationship with the people around you.

I’m fascinated by the practice of seeing the potential in each person because it allows us to accept people's survival strategies without trying to change them. I experience the joy of transformation by meeting people where they are and using the tension of creation to reach the next level.

The danger of focusing only on What is (current reality):

• There is no movement or transformation; only stagnation. "I'm okay with it being as it is."

• Turning in circles. It doesn't go anywhere. If I don't create a crack for transformation, I can stay in the same place forever.

• Superiority: "I'm okay. I don't need to change anything."

• Don't dare tell me that something else is possible.

• Numbness to the pain of what's missing and what could be. This happens a lot in ecovillages. For example, they invested 35 years doing the same. They say, "It is what it is. There is no problem with what is not working. Let's leave it as it is. It is good enough."

• Passivity and laziness.

The potential of focusing on what is not (desired in the future):

What possibilities open up when you focus on what isn't? What kind of space can you create by placing your attention on what is not?

• Potential: You can envision what is not here yet.

• Next step: The possibilities of what comes next become available.

• Aliveness: The next thing and the next thing can be unrelated.

• You discover what you care about and where you want to grow.

• It’s a space of action, creation, movement, and invention.

• Expansion happens.

• Making new decisions and new experiments.

• Mobilizing energy.

• Motivation to keep going.

• Newness: The bubbliness of new websites, processes, and training. Things that weren't there before and weren't even imagined.

The danger of focusing only on What is not (desired in the future):

• Creating fantasy worlds. You have an image of how you want or should be, and you force yourself into that image. It costs so much energy because you need to maintain the fantasy; otherwise, it collapses. You get stuck in scarcity. It is never enough. You always want the next thing. There's pressure to get there. Where you are is not okay; you need more and more.

• You activate self-punishment: "I'm not doing enough. I should be further along..."

• I don't like what I see, so I want to change it. You try to convert the other person into wanting what you think is their potential.

• Being right.

• Rescuing behaviors. You orient yourself by thinking, "I need to provide something. I need to fill the gap. They are not okay. I am okay. I need to fix them or the situation."

• Waiting until it is okay. Waiting to live. Perfection. I need to get this and that so that...

Sometimes, you may assume that what you are missing is also what the other person is missing. This can lead to a sense of alienation because you may start relating to the other person by only noticing and focusing on what is missing. This can also happen in your relationship with yourself, creating a lot of inner pressure: "I want to be a space holder like that. I should be further along on my path. But, argh, I'm just like this..."

Just because I miss this person's anger or wish she were clearer does not mean she wants to become an eagle. Is what I see as missing relevant to this person's evolution and where she is right now?

If someone comes to you and says, "I want to become an eagle, but I'm just a kiwi. Can you support me?" then you begin to hold space for the potential of something that doesn't yet exist. The decision comes from the person. Because you start to hold space, it begins to manifest.

In modern culture, the main way of coaching and space holding is to focus on what is missing. Why?

1. Because when you place your attention on what is not, you have the missing piece. 

“I know what I want but I don’t know how. Give me the how”

“Let’s find the recipe, step by step.” This is not a change in distinctions, context, or the way things are. It's a linear way of creating results: Do A, and you'll get B.

In my experience, the results of this method are temporary. It's like the New Year's resolution list: you do it the first day, the next day, and by day five, everything is back to normal.

2. It creates a dependent relationship with the coach, space holder, or therapist. It’s an orientation of “Tell me what to do. What is my next step?”. I’ve noticed how this creates pressure because the “coach” wants to provide what is missing. If you don't provide it, then you are not good enough. You are not providing what you are being paid for, and therefore, you are failing.

Spaceholding for sustainable transformation: Bridging the Two.

Spaceholding for sustainable transformation involves holding attention simultaneously on both what is and what is not, using the tension creatively rather than trying to "fix" or "solve" problems.

It is possible to shift from a problem orientation to a resource orientation. With a resource-oriented way of thinking, it becomes possible to see the people in front of me as resourceful, whole, and gifted. Sometimes, this approach is not the most effective in terms of time because it may require three sessions instead of one. However, it may be the best approach for the individual.

I've noticed that when I act from problem solving, I usually want to eliminate the tension in myself or the other person. A valuable question to ask myself is whether to follow my impulse: "Is the purpose of my intervention to eliminate the tension? What tension do I want to release?"

Examples of tension include not knowing what to do or say, being bored, and not knowing how to manage your energy when it is high or low. Silence.

The desire to eliminate tension stems from the fear of experiencing it. Living and fear are tied together; living is an experience of fear. Being able to navigate fear is being able to live. Living life and creating.

Creation happens when you split your attention into two places at the same time. You focus on the present moment, your surroundings, and what you have. Simultaneously, you focus on what is not, on what you want, and on your potential.

Ultimately, creation happens when the spaceholder navigates the tension between present reality and envisioned potential without collapsing into either complacency or fantasy.